“Diet starts on Monday.”
“I gotta work off that pizza.”
“I’m doing Whole 30.”
“It’s my cheat day.”
“I’ve been avoiding carbs.”
Fit people don’t say ANY of these things…
Let me start by defining what I mean by “fit.” To me, fit doesn’t mean shredded abs and big biceps, although many fit people have those as a natural side affect of their healthy relationships with food, movement, and their mind. I define fit as being in full control over your health. Mind, body, and spirit.
As someone who struggled for years, and as someone who many now reach out to for advice, here’s 8 areas holding you back from being fit.
1 — You work out instead of move
Like most, you view movement as a spin class, a 6AM boot camp, a personal training session, an online workout stream, a run. You view a workout as something you have to check the box on each day, like brushing your teeth or letting the dog out. For you, it’s a pain in the ass, it’s something you have to force yourself to do most of the time.
While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of the forms of exercise above, let’s be honest with ourselves. Remember that promise you made to yourself to play guitar for an hour each night? What about that one about journaling daily? How about that time you were going to make your coffee at home every day instead of going to Starbucks? What happened to that daily 20 minutes of meditation? Life happened, right?
Fit people mix movement into their everyday life, it’s not a set time limit, it’s part of their lifestyle. They bike to work, run at lunch, take the stairs, choose an evening walk over the bar, spend Saturday hiking, meet friends for tennis, walk the 18 holes, run up the hill. Fit people make movement enjoyable, something to look forward to, not an hour of dread.
2 — You work out to punish yourself
Along those same lines, you associate working out with “burning off those nachos” or “earning those beers.” This is a dangerous path to be on (trust me!). It is akin to binging and purging, although you may not think so.
Punishing yourself for something you consumed only makes matters worse. It reinforces the idea that you slipped up, once again broke that promise to yourself to eat well, and ultimately let yourself down. The more and more you break these promises to yourself, the more and more your self confidence will dwindle. You’re subconsciously programming yourself to believe that you can’t see things through, you’re not good enough, and you’ll never be able to accomplish your health goals.
Fit people don’t have restrictions, they don’t have a binge and purge relationship with eating and moving. Fit people don’t judge themselves when they eat cake, rather they cherish every bite. They don’t add 20 more burpees to tomorrow’s workout because they enjoyed an extra beer with loved ones. They are gentle on themselves, they are kind to themselves, they don’t break promises to themselves. Their workouts are a celebration, not a punishment. They embrace and celebrate that they are in a healthy body and are grateful to be able to move and experience the benefits of it.
3 — You have cheat days
Piggybacking on #2, you have a “cheat day.” You meal prep Monday through Thursday, then the weekend comes and you’re face deep in a large calzone. You like to call it “#balance.” It’s not balance, it’s imbalance. You see, you haven’t fixed your binge and purge relationship. You are essentially binging on the weekends and purging Monday through Thursday (again, I get it!). Perhaps you also have this relationship with alcohol…
Cheat days are addiction-like behavior. When you’re on, you’re ON, you go to the extreme. When you’re off, you’re OFF, it’s broccoli and two hours of high intensity training at the gym. This is not balance, this is addiction.
At the networking event post-work on a Tuesday night, you told yourself you wouldn’t have the pizza. It’s a constant battle in your head: “I shouldn’t, it’s Tuesday.” Well, let’s be real, you did it. And, once again, you let yourself down, further subconsciously reinforcing that you can’t stick with any goal you set.
Fit people don’t have cheat days. They don’t feel pressure around food, they don’t care what day of the week it is. They’ve gotten to a place where food is just food. They eat to feel good, not because of outside pressures or because it’s a certain day of the week.
4 — You count macros
You look at food in terms of its “protein,” “carbs,” “fat,” or “sugar” content. You see chicken as “protein.” You see pasta and bread as “carbs.” You see avocados as “fat.” You see fruit as “sugar.” You’re constantly trying to increase one and avoid others, often based on whatever fad diet you’re trying at any given time.
You say things like: “that’s pretty high in sugar,” “these only have 6 carbs,” and “how many calories are in that?” You turn the package over and look at the nutritional panel, rather than the ingredients list.
Fit people don’t see food as calories and macros, they see food as a whole. They don’t ask “how many grams of protein is in this?” They use common sense when they eat foods. They ask the question “is this food health promoting?” “How does it make me feel?” They eat apples because apples are health promoting and make them feel good. They don’t avoid pasta or bread because it’s “carbs.” Rather they ask how the pasta was made. They understand that organic whole wheat flower, water, salt, and yeast does not make them fat, nor does it harm them. They don’t blind themselves to the bigger picture, they seek to understand what the food is and where it came from. They eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full. There’s no counting or calculating.
5 — You pound supplements
You take your multivitamin and fish oil in the morning, you have a powdered “high protein” shake for breakfast, you’ve tried “fat burning” pills, you take pre-workout before hitting the gym, you need a whey protein “recovery” shake post-workout. You do those 5-day “cleanses” with the pills and the weird fiber drink mix. You think health is magically found in pills and powders.
Just the act of reaching for supplements is reinforcing the idea that there’s something missing, there’s something broken.
Fit people don’t pound supplements, they pound healthy whole foods. They don’t need a pre-workout supplement to get themselves to move. Rather, the foods they consume give them boundless energy to the point where they want to move. They don’t take protein shakes, because, again, they don’t see food in terms of macros. They understand that healthy foods give them all they need and more. Every now and then they choose to give their bodies rest by fasting or consuming raw pressed juices for a few days. They definitely don’t “cleanse” with chemicals that come in a box at the pharmacy. Rather than throw a bunch of crap at their bodies, they get out of its way. They trust their bodies.
6 — You want it in 30 days
On that note, you’re likely taking supplements as a perceived shortcut. You think the new pre-workout, or the new diet book, or the latest workout craze is going to get you there faster. You want to undo 30 years of bad habits in 30 days… Let me say that again. You want to undo 30 YEARS of bad habits in just 30 DAYS! You do things like P90X, Whole 30, Veganuary, and 21 Day Fix.
Shit, you couldn’t even stick with it for 30 days. And guess what happens again? You let yourself down. You broke that promise to yourself, again. You’re not good enough. You’ll never be like your fit friend Cathy. You continue to set these unachievable and unrealistic goals and standards and you continue to fail… because what you’re attempting is setting you up to fail.
You want wellness in 30 days and that is simply not possible. Fit people understand that health and wellness is a lifelong pursuit. Fit people play the long game. Fit people don’t turn it on for 30 days and off for 30 days. They are fit from YEARS and YEARS of small improvements and healthy habit changes. They’re fit because of the way they choose to live day in and day out.
7 — You’re in the wrong environment
Let me guess… but you already eat healthy. You already go to SoulCycle twice a week. You already do yoga. You’re way healthier than your friends and family. You base what you perceive as healthy on those around you and the environment you’re in. Your blood pressure is much lower than your brother’s. You eat way better and drink less than your co-workers. You think you’re doing all the right things.
Take a look at who you spend most of your time with. Is there anyone who you truly admire for their wellness? Is there anyone that you aspire to become? Is there anyone that makes your habits look unhealthy?
Fit people don’t compare themselves to others. They understand that they are on their own wellness journey. Rather than compare, they admire. They surround themselves and learn from people who are farther along that journey than themselves. They never reach a point where they say “OK, now I’m fit.” Rather, they see things as an ever evolving process, one that always has room for improvement.
8 — You don’t celebrate where you’re at
And that leads me to number 8, perhaps the most powerful of all… you don’t like where you’re at. You haven’t accepted where you’re at. You don’t like the weight you’re carrying around, you don’t like the way you look in the mirror, you don’t like the way you feel, you don’t like you. You define yourself by all those failures of the past.
A wise man once said, true happiness is the absence of the search for happiness. In other words, happiness is being at peace with where you’re at. That doesn’t mean you’re content. That doesn’t mean you’re not striving to become better.
Fit people are at peace with where they are. It’s nowhere close to where they strive to be, but they recognize that they are exactly where they’re meant to be. The past is the past. They are not defined by their past. They understand that what they’re going through right now (good or bad) is all a part of becoming a beautiful future version of themselves. They know they need to go through what they’re going through now to become the person they strive to be.
In conclusion, fit people make enjoyable movement part of their lives, they’re gentle on themselves rather than punish themselves, they don’t binge and purge or set rules, they don’t count macros and calories they simply eat healthy foods, they trust their bodies fully rather than bombard them with supplements, they play the long game not the 30 day game, they surround themselves with people they admire, and they are at peace with where they are now and hold excitement for where they’re going.
You are exactly where you’re meant to be. The struggles you’re going through now will shape you into the person you want to become. Let go of your past. Embrace where you are now. Become obsessed with the beautiful, amazing, badass future version of yourself. There is nothing wrong with you or broken about you. You can be fit. You can be well.
Perhaps, you just need to see it all through a different lens.
